Unwittingly, Americans have gradually become more and more codependent since FDR instituted the New Deal, which was to be a temporary measure. Codependency has become a way of life for the majority of people who compulsively demand the government provide a safety net for seemingly every conceivable life sustaining issue. In turn individuals have deferred to others in order to determine one’s thoughts, words, and actions instead of checking within one’s self to honor one’s feelings, one’s knowing and one’s sense of what’s appropriate. It is self-defeating to judge oneself for falling prey to this behavioral pattern, as our survival—being accepted in the national cultural, community or family system—seemed to depend upon it.
The cost, nonetheless, to one’s integrity, wholeness and sense of spiritual connectedness has suffered as we continue to function co-dependently based on coping strategies that we were handed through a misinterpretation of the New Deal or born into.
Embracing and honoring the concept of self-reliance and self-determination is the only way a codependent person will change this self-crippling and self-defeating life style.
The result of accepting and honoring the concept of self-reliance and self-determination might be a sense of emptiness or ‘hole inside’, but this can also be a key motivator in finding the strength within to create a sense of wholeness. Some will feel the emptiness or ‘hole inside’ and look for something outside—the antidotes of choice frequently are drugs, alcohol or food.
Honoring our feelings is key to recovery from codependency as well as in recovery from any addiction and self-defeating behavior. Although, we are not our feelings, our feelings show us who we are.
Each feeling contains literal information regarding our true identity, what is important to us (and what is not) and what it is that we need to express and share with the world.
Each emotion is an expression of our Higher Power, or Spirit—our spiritual knowing and sense of connectedness to All That Is—expressing through different filters called emotions, informing us as to the unique aspect of the Spiritual being that we are. A vital aspect of recovery from codependence is in knowing and honoring our feelings, desires, ideas, opinions and expressing them in healthy ways. Although acting on our feelings may not be helpful in all situations, clean and healthy communication and expression of our feelings remains essential in recovery and in living life fully.
You are not here by mistake. You have something unique to share with the world. You are the creator that the Creator created. It is a great loss if you are not expressing your truth in the world. Are you willing to stand in your truth, take healthy risks, and express your feelings and heart’s desires openly and directly? Are you willing to allow your Spirit to express through you as you were created to do? Are you willing to embrace and honor self-reliance and self-determination? The reward for doing so is limitless wholeness and connectedness to All That Is.
About author:
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, speaker specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net
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